


Dear Ladybug

by randohopelessromantic



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Holiday Fic Exchange, Left to Write Secret Santa, LtWWS Secret Santa, Post-Hawk Moth Defeat, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21964477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randohopelessromantic/pseuds/randohopelessromantic
Summary: Hawkmoth has been defeated but there is no celebrating for Ladybug without her Chat Noir. Will she read between the lines and find her lost kitty?For @willowbranches as part of our Left to Write Secret Santa fic exchange.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 18
Kudos: 55





	1. No Return Address

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ilenne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilenne/gifts).



_ Dear Ladybug, _

_ Do you remember that time we battled TroubleMaker? You almost lost your miraculous. I was moments away from finding out who my true love was. Seconds from ending the questioning, the heartbreak, the pining for someone I didn’t truly know. But in that moment, the only thing I could do was save you. Save you from being revealed. Save you from heartache. As much as my heart wanted in that moment to know who you were… the girl of my dreams… saving you was above all. You have always been my first thought, my reason. I want you to remember that before I do what I am about to do.  _

_ Love always, _

_ Your Kitty.  _

Marinette blinked and felt warm tears trickle down her cheek. She dropped the letter and grabbed the envelope again. With trembling hands Marinette studied the sleek black envelope. The address was written in a beautiful handwritten script in bright green ink. There was no return address. 

To Ladybug

In Care of The Ladyblog

P.O. Box 694233

Paris, France

Her breath hitched in her throat as she realized the letter she was holding was posted before the battle. Before HawkMoth’s defeat. Before Chat Noir disappeared. Before her heart had broken beyond repair. Marinette closed her eyes, took a deep but shaky breath and was brought back to that day. Marinette was sowing in her room. Tikki was helping by pressing on the foot pedal while Marinette tapped her foot on the chair. It was such a mindless kind of fun - Marinette had no idea why the little kwami liked to help her in that way but she just laughed and went along with it. They were giggling about the fact that Marinette was making a birthday gift, again, for Adrien, when an alert popped up on her phone from the Ladyblog. Akuma Attack. She arrived at the Eiffel Tower just in time to hear Chat Noir cry “Cataclysm Now!!!” and the tower crumbled around them. She couldn’t see anyone… no akuma, no villain, no Chat Noir. Just destruction. She thought she heard faint voices in the clouds of dust. In desperation Ladybug called for her lucky charm, an umbrella. She threw it back into the air and yelled “Miraculous Ladybug” watching as the miraculous cure danced around, repairing the Eiffel Tower, searching for any sign of Chat Noir. When the miraculous cure dispersed Ladybug noticed a crumple of black, blue and purple on the ground, it looked like a pile of fabric she had lying around her room but as she ran towards it she realized it was Plagg, Dusuu and Nooroo, huddled together. They were shivering, clinging to each other and under them the peacock, butterfly and black cat miraculous. Marinette scooped them up and darted away as fast as she could. Detransforming on the roof of her house she jumped through the skylight, still cradling the hurt kwamis. 

Tikki, eyes wide and wet, looked at Marinette and said “You’ve done it! You’ve defeated Hawkmoth!” 

“But I… I…. did nothing!” Marinette stammered out then held out her hands for Tikki to see the damage.

Tikki darted down to the still dazed kwamis and buzzed about them, her eyes laced with concern. 

“He’s defeated…” Marinette whispered “...but at what cost? Will they be ok? And where is Chat Noir??”

Tikki bowed her head, unable to make eye contact with Mariette as she spoke. “Plagg, Dusuu and Nooroo have to go into the miracle box. They have to rest. They need to heal.”

“Of course, of course!” Marinette replied. “Do you think they will be ok?”

“Time will tell, Marinette. But I… I… I have to be with them.” Tikki said while looking away. 

Marinette began to cry. 

“So… no Ladybug for a while?”

Tikki nodded and flew up to hug Marinette. 

“I love you Marinette… You are the best Ladybug I’ve ever served. I don’t know how long this will take. But I need the earrings and we need time. Please protect the miracle box. I’ll let you know as soon as our friends are healed.” Tikki whispered in Marinette’s ear as she clung to her. 

Marinette felt her hands reach up and take the earrings out of her ears, her body moving of its own accord. She watched as Tikki carried each kwami into the miracle box and then disappeared herself. Marinette sunk to her knees on the floor of her room. She stayed there for hours, just staring at the miracle box. How could she celebrate the defeat of Hawkmoth without Tikki? Without Chat Noir? Nearly three months had passed since that day with no word from the kwamis. 

The sound of Alya’s footsteps coming down the hall broke Marinette from her daydream. She looked at the pile of letters on the floor and frantically sifted through looking for more black envelopes. She grabbed three more envelopes and shoved them into the side of her jacket just as Alya entered the room. 

“Hey, girl! Norah said you were in here waiting for me! I’m so glad you’re here!” Alya looked at Marinette with warm but concerned eyes. She hadn’t seen much of her friend in the past few months. Some excuse of designing or helping her parents always seemed to get in the way of their plans. 

Marinette started to stammer. “Yeah… uh, Hi! It’s been so long since we have just hung out, you know… so I thought I’d come over. What’s up with all these letters on the floor?”

Alya walked towards the pile. “Ever since Ladybug defeated HawkMoth I’ve just been getting bags and bags of fan mail. People were grateful she defeated him. But other than that small clip I got of her leaving the Eiffel Tower with the recovered Miraculous no one has heard from her. Or Chat Noir. And no one has even found out who Hawkmoth was! So many questions... So people started writing letters and they don’t know where to send them so they send them to me… thinking I have some connection to her or something.”

“Well, you kinda do, don’t you?” Marinette blurted.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Alya replied uncomfortably. 

“Oh, just with the blog and all… I mean, you’ve interviewed her right? I guess people think you have some way to contact her.”

“Yeah. I guess. But no one has heard from her, or Chat Noir. It’s odd actually.” Alya gazed towards the window.

“I suppose they have a good reason. I mean there have been no akuma attacks, so we're safe, right?” Marinette said as she walked towards the door, holding her arm close to her body to secure the hidden envelopes. She wanted to stay and talk with her friend. It had been so long since she left her room. Marinette took guarding the Miracle box too literally for a while. Only leaving it for absolute essentials. Her parents became worried, however, and all but kicked her out of the house today. With a promise that no one would enter her room she left and instinctively walked to her best friend’s house. But now could only think of leaving it and finding a place to read the other letters. 

“Girl, don’t tell me you are leaving already!” Alya gave Marinette a disapproving look. 

“I’m sorry - Alya… I have to go! Mom needs help with an order… Christmas coming up and all! You know how people are… wanting their... cookies and whatnot…” . Marinette gave Alya a small smile, pulled on her boots, grabbed her coat and hat and darted out of the house. 

Stomping down the slushy sidewalk Marinette held herself tight. Partly to keep the letters secure in her jacket and partly to calm herself. A freak out was imminent. She had spent months wondering where Chat Noir was. Silently pining for any sign of him. Her partner always had a special place in her heart. But did she let him know that? Was he in danger? What could have happened for him to just give up his Miraculous like that? And now this letter…. He knew he was going to do something like this. It almost seemed planned? Sacrificial even! Marinette had to get somewhere to read the rest of the letters. She looked up and realized she was in front of a coffee shop, a small one named Three Ravens Cafe. Marinette opened the door, ordered a hot chocolate and found a cozy corner to sit in. After a few moments of trying to act as normal as possible, Marinette reached for the letters in her jacket. She had grabbed three more aside from the one she opened and organized them by the date of their postmark. She slowly opened up the one that was sent a month after the battle. Marinette took a quick glance around the cafe, then unfolded the letter and began reading.


	2. The Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette reads through the letters from Chat Noir.

_ Dear Ladybug, _

_ I have no idea if this will reach you. I’m relying on your luck. Not mine. What sort of luck did I think I would have, wielding the black cat miraculous, anyways? I think it guaranteed me nine lives of bad luck. I miss you. I miss the way you’d tell me off for joking around. I miss you calling me kitty. I miss how determined you looked in the face of an akuma. I miss giving you pep talks when your confidence waned. I miss the way you’d scrunch up your nose and the way your freckles wrinkled when you were thinking of something. I miss the sound of your yo-yo pulling me out of a tough situation. I wish I could hear that sound now. I miss you, Bug. I do not miss you being in danger. Hawkmoth cannot hurt you anymore. Hell, I can’t hurt you anymore. Who is to say that he wouldn’t have akumatized me again? He knew that I loved you more than my life. If I was the reason - If I hurt you…. It couldn’t - it wouldn’t and it won’t happen anymore. I’ve seen the news that you retrieved the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous. Please keep them safe. If you have Plagg tell him I’m sorry.  _

_ Love Always,  _

_  
Your Kitty.  _

Marinette gripped the letter tight, staring at the words. He missed her. He protected her. A lump formed in her throat and she felt her breath quicken. Her kitty seemed tormented. Why would he sacrifice himself? Why would he give up Plagg? Her kitty was _hurting_. She instinctively looked inside her purse for Tikki. Tikki could talk her through this and give a positive perspective that Marinette couldn’t see, but her purse was empty. The only thing she could think to do was read the next letter. She wished Tikki could read it for her and tell her if it was better or worse than the one she just read. Marinette’s fingers trembled as she angled the envelope to the light to see the postmark stamp on the black envelope. It was dated for a week later than the previous letter. 

_ Dear Ladybug, _

_ You must be wondering why I disappeared. And thinking of you being sad is heartbreaking to me. I don’t know if this will reach you but if it does you deserve to know something. There was no way I could have done what I did with you mixed in. It was too risky. You see, Hawkmoth and Mayura turned out to be very close to me. Dangerously close. This had to be an inside job. In doing this I’ve betrayed my family. And now I am paying for it. You have to know that I did this for you and for Paris and I’d do it again. You once told me “you have to trust me”. And I did, wholeheartedly. And I do. But you have to trust me now. This was a fight I had to do on my own. Plagg probably hates me. I think about how I betrayed him constantly. He was my best friend, next to you. I’m alone and paying for my actions in ways that I will not burden you with. But I’d do it again. I’d do it every day to save you. I miss you.  _

_ Love Always,  _

_ Your Kitty _

Tears started to freely flow from Marinette’s eyes as she read the last few words. She looked up from the letter to make sure she wasn’t attracting attention. Everyone was preoccupied on their phones or laptops. A lady with bags of christmas shopping came into the cafe, ordered coffee and left. The world was acting as if nothing was happening. People were just going on as if nothing was wrong. Her kitty - the hero that saved Paris was somewhere… somewhere without her and is hurt. She resisted the urge to stand up and yell at the merry people. They had no right! NO RIGHT to be happy. She felt powerless. Marinette inhaled deeply, her breath shaky as she tried to gain composure. Her eyes stared at the last letter unopened on the table. With bravery she didn’t know she had she opened the last letter. 

  
  


_ Dear Ladybug, _

_ Again, I don’t know why I am writing this. I guess it makes me feel closer to you. I don’t think I will write any more, though. I was foolish to write these. On the first day we were given the miraculous I fell in love with you. I saw a girl who through her fear stood up to evil. I am sorry if I came on strong after that. I just couldn’t hide my love for you. I would tell myself to be cool and then I’d get around you and it would bubble out of me. Sometimes love hits you like that. You need to know that thinking of you is the only sunshine in my life. I think about our last time together often. I don’t know if you remember this but we were just sitting on a beam at the Eiffel Tower. The sun was setting over our city and you leaned your head on my shoulder. We sat like that for the longest time despite the cold. I gave you a red rose I had grabbed at a flower shop while on patrol. You smiled warmly at it and dipped your nose in to catch it’s scent. You said it reminded you of summer then giggled, looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes and bumped my shoulder. You were quiet for a long time after that. I was so happy just to be there with you.  _

_  
I hope you are happy, my lady.  _

_ All my love, _

_ Your Kitty _

The weight of what Marinette read struck her back into her chair. She closed her eyes and concentrated only on breathing. She didn’t know what else to do. That evening on the tower started playing in her head. The rose Chat Noir had given her was bright and beautiful. It wasn’t any different from the other roses he presented to her but how she felt was. In the silence Chat so eloquently remembered Marinette was fighting with herself to find the words to tell him what was in her heart. Her love had blossomed for her kitty in a way she had never expected. It came slowly like a single seed turning a whole field into a sea of wild flowers. But the words escaped her and she stayed silent - telling herself that next time.. Next time she would confess to him. 

“Excuse me, miss…”

Marinette’s eyes shot open to see a young woman with golden cascading hair and friendly eyes looking at her with deep concern. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt… but our cafe is closing early today for a christmas party. You can have about five more minutes but then I have to lock the doors.”

The barista gestured to Marinette’s empty hot chocolate mug and Marinette nodded and attempted to pass it to her. Her shaky hands wouldn’t comply and instead sent the empty mug clacking across the letters and envelopes spread across the table. Sensing how frazzled Marinette was the barista grabbed the mug and a towel to clean up the mess. She picked up a black envelope and dabbed some cold hot chocolate off. Marinette just watched with wide eyes, frozen. 

“I can see you are upset, miss! I hope you will be ok. Not much spilled! This is an awfully nice looking envelope.. You don’t see black ones often and this script.. So pretty!”

Marinette recognized the friendly barista was doing what she could to lighten the awkward situation and snapped herself out of her daze. 

“Yes, it is! Pity there is no return address.” Marinette expressed as she started to collect the papers. 

The barista tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and picked up an envelope. 

“You see this postmark?” The barista tipped the envelope to display the stamp. “I used to work with the post offices. This postmark is unique to the post office at  60 Rue Cler. You could always head there and see if they would tell you anything?” 

Marinette looked up at the barista with hopeful but wet eyes. She noticed a name tag on her shirt. 

“Thank you, Carolyn. You’ve been a big help. I’ll get out of your way and you have a great Christmas party!”.

Marinette collected her things, smiled at Carolyn and left for the post office. It was a long shot but the best clue she had at the moment. Somehow she had to find her Chat Noir. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to get this updated. The next chapter should come soon. :) Thank you for reading.


	3. Putting the Pieces Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette starts to piece together the clues.

Marinette arrived at the post office on Rue Cler to find it closed. She reached out to the door handle and jiggled it roughly for no reason other than to release her frustration. She turned around and leaned against the locked door, folded her arms and looked down at her slushy wet boots. What now? Marinette took a deep breath and looked up noticing a billboard across the street. An ad for the latest iphone was plastered on the billboard but a corner was starting to peel off exposing the ad underneath. As the wind pulled away the stark grey iphone ad, Marinette could see the bright blue of a friendly sky, dreamy clouds and the hint of golden hair. 

Adrien.

Radiant. Carefree. Dreamy. Her sweet friend had done a similar disappearing act as she had. Shortly after Hawkmoth’s defeat she remembered Adrien’s sweet face in a group message telling them his father demanded he accompany him to New York City for a few months. He assured them he’d be back and that he’d miss them all. As if her heart couldn’t take more breaking, she shoved Adrien into the back of her mind and all but forgot him until seeing this reminder. The softness of the blue and gold contrasted the bleakness around her and even though she couldn’t see his face - she smiled, her own face cracking with salt from an afternoon of tears. Just then a large gust of frosty wind picked up and ripped a large piece of the ad from the billboard. Marinette watched as it gusted and floated away from her. She followed it with her eyes until a large familiar tower was in her sight. Montparnasse Tower was decorated for Christmas with a large tree with bright green lights on top. Memories of that tower came flooding back to her. “You have to trust me” she could hear herself say, then a blonde boy jumped, trusting in her wholly. 

Adrien. 

Marinette whipped her head around back to the billboard. The piece that blew away had revealed most of Adrien’s hair, wistful and unkempt, looking way too much like Chat Noir’s. 

Her Chat Noir. 

Marinette’s feet started stomping towards home. Each step splashing cold slush over her boots and into her socks. It didn’t matter. Her whole body was numb. Could Adrien be her Chat Noir? Could her sweet, dreamy, angelic crush be her smart, jovial, snarky partner? Is it possible that the two people she loves the most be one and the same? Why would a letter from Chat Noir know details about something that happened to Adrien? Was Adrien’s family really gone to New York? Chat Noir said the enemy was close… Did that mean Hawkmoth was his… And the umbrella? Why was that her lucky charm!?? She pushed her way through the busy bakery, into her house and up to her room. As soon as she entered her room she noticed a glow coming from the normally inactive Miracle Box. Marinette, clutching the letters, ran to the box and dropped to her knees. 

“Tikki? Tikki? Is something happening? Can you hear me?” 

Marinette watched through tearful eyes as a red being manifested in front of her and then rushed towards her. Marinette fell back and cradled Tikki, who had snuggled to her face. 

“Tikki! Tikki!!” Marinette choked out. “Is it really you?”

Tikki flew up, nodded and smiled, tears in her bright blue eyes.

“Marinette! I missed you so much!” 

The two hugged again for what felt like forever until Marinette shot up to her feet. 

“Tikki! Is Adrien Chat Noir?” 

Tikki could only smile. 

“I knew you would figure it out, Marinette.” 

Marinette didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so she did both. Her wonderful, amazing Chat Noir was her friend, Adrien. She thought back to the letters and how he sounded sad and desperate and tortured. He saved her and now she needed to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this has taken so long to update. I promise the next chapter won't take as long. Stay safe out there!


End file.
